Who Exactly are Michael Bay's Fans?

Aargh! I was back out on the IMDB Star Trek (2009) message boards last week and found a thread I just had to get into. Some guy had the nerve to suggest that if Michael Bay had directed Star Trek and it had been the same movie, it would have been panned because MB's name is on it, instead of JJ's. Is this guy serious? Of course the movie would have been panned, because it wouldn't have been the same! Duh! It would have been louder, cheesier, had an ending that was entirely in slow motion (for God only knows what purpose), and would have had one or two A list stars totally mis-cast.

How do I know so much about MB's movies, I've tortured myself by viewing at least two of them, and one, only yesterday. Flipping through the channels last night, I came upon Armageddon, a movie that didn't seem quite terrible the first time I viewed it in the theater back in 1998. But watching it again last night, I really had to try hard to not laugh, gag or be embarrassed for having it on at all. I came in about 40 minutes from the end, and wow, what a hunk of crap that movie is. I love Bruce Willis and man, I had a hard time looking at the TV every time he had to say his lines, I felt sorry for him. The worst was the montage when he died, ouch...that is the worst attempt at sympathy for characters from a director I've ever seen. Liv Tyler couldn't have been more bland after seeing her father die, and I have to give the credit for that to MB. The actors take their direction from the director, and that must have been his stroke of genius. I then sat through the super slow montage of various persons looking at the sky after the meteor is split in two. It reminded me of the end of Pearl Harbor, I can't bring myself to watch all of it, I saw who died and who she ended up with, and it seemed too forced...oh and it had another slow motion montage, what is up with that??!!

The other MB film I saw was The Rock. I had the pleasure of seeing this film in the theater while sitting only two rows from the screen. I've never come so close to throwing up in a theater. The editing and camera work was so poor, I couldn't follow the story, ha! I know, what story, but seriously, I was lost because I had to keep closing my eyes or else I would feel nauseous and lightheaded. Couldn't tell you if it had a slow motion montage at the end, I wasn't paying attention by then, I think I was trying to catch a nap.

One of the previews before Trek was for the upcoming Transformers sequel, and I turned to the husband after the preview ended and said "That movie is going to be loud, and nothing else, huh?". I know the fanboys are going to be crazy for this movie, but I have to abstain. I just can't support MB, I don't appreciate his style and I don't like his work, period.

I ended up posting to the thread on the Trek board with just a quick comment about how MB couldn't hold a film together the way Trek was held together, because he is a hack. Too harsh? Maybe. I just don't get it. Why does this guy have so many fans??